


The Urge To Crumble

by MiraculousBookworm02



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2017! Phan, Depression, Existential Crisis, Friendship, One-Shot, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-08
Updated: 2017-11-08
Packaged: 2019-01-31 02:26:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12666381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiraculousBookworm02/pseuds/MiraculousBookworm02
Summary: The room seemed to be getting darker. As if the lighting in the hallway represented his mood, and the mental crisis he was experiencing without anybody knowing it. That was until a pair of shoes came into his line of sight and stood directly in front of him, his mind failing to recognise the familiar items of clothing.





	The Urge To Crumble

**Author's Note:**

  * For [2amphan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/2amphan/gifts).



__

The urge to crumble was overwhelming. It slowly shattered his being, and succumbed his thoughts to nothing but despair and darkness. And he hated it.

He hated how hopeless he felt. He hated how his legs started to shake, and how his body could no longer carry out simple functions due to the leering thoughts that crippled his attitude.

He envied those who never felt this scared, or this worried, or this thoughtful. There was no longer a filter between reality and his mind's harrowing ideas, and that was what eventually made him give in to the impending shadows.

No longer thinking about the walk back to his room, he sat down slowly on the floor of the hallway and curled into a ball. A million thoughts were running through his head; each of them unable to be answered.

Did he matter? In the grand scheme of things, did he matter to the endless void of the universe? Would he make a great enough difference during the short expanse of his lifetime to matter to people hundreds of years into the future? Was the purpose of his life actually meaningful? And what would happen when he eventually did leave this world?

He didn't know. And slowly, these questions were pulling him apart. Piece by piece, he could feel his sanity slipping away from him and he wanted nothing more than to be able to escape these depressing thoughts. The ideologies and philosophies that his brain forced him to focus on distorted his view of the wall in front of him, and made him feel like a caged animal that couldn't evade its fate.

That was, if such a thing as fate existed.

And then there was humanity. The species that had caused the extinction of so many others. The species that couldn't work together to make the world a better place. The species that destroyed absolutely everything it touched.

It was then that Dan likened humanity to a virus.

Human beings were a disease to the planet. They were constantly doing more harm than good, and were repeatedly ruining the beautiful landscape that Earth had once had.

It saddened him that moments ago he had only been concerned about his own, pointless life instead of the bigger picture that held much more significance.

The room seemed to be getting darker. As if the lighting in the hallway represented his mood, and the mental crisis he was experiencing without anybody knowing it. That was until a pair of shoes came into his line of sight and stood directly in front of him, his mind failing to recognise the familiar items of clothing.

A mass of black hair then appeared centimetres away from him, and he forced himself to focus on the pair of multicoloured eyes staring at him. They were concerned, these eyes. Caring, and worried. But it seemed that he understood the situation perfectly, as he then sat down next to him without a sound.

He didn't know how long he sat there, staring at the blank walls that surrounded him in every direction, but the man remained at his side without so much as standing up to stretch his limbs from discomfort. It was heartwarming, really, that somebody would go to those lengths to ensure their best friend was alright.

And just his presence alone was enough to motivate Dan. He thought about everything that was worth his attention; his friends, his fans, his best friend...

That was what got him through it. He was eventually able to push the distressing thoughts away for just a moment, which was all the time he needed. His eyes focused on the face beside him, the man's eyebrows arching at Dan as if he was asking a silent question.

Was he ready to stand up? Was he alright to get past this event? Was he able to escape the torment his mind forced him to go through at any given moment?

The walls were closing in on him again. The room was losing colour, and he soon realised that the figure next to him was getting up. He compelled himself to watch the man stand up and walk down the hallway away from him; his own breaths shaking at the prospect of being alone with his thoughts once more.

He couldn't handle it. The urge to crumble was overwhelming.

But he didn't. Light suddenly flooded the room, and bathed the hallway in colour that hadn't previously been there. It was such a small thing, a lightbulb, but it made all the difference in the world to Dan. It was a shimmer of hope. A beacon. A symbol that he could get through this.

The figure appeared walking down the hallway again, this time towards him. The same concern from earlier still laced his eyes, but he seemed calmer now; more in control of the situation. He knelt down next to Dan, but this time didn't sit.

Instead, he reached his hand out for him.

The gesture was warm, and inviting. It showed him a different world, a simple world; a world in which his thoughts could be pushed aside to make way for more personal matters. He liked the idea of this world.

And as he miraculously swept aside the ideologies and philosophies his brain forced him to focus on, he grabbed hold of Phil's hand and slowly intertwined their fingers. The action instantly reassured him that he could stand up, as Phil would be there to support him.

To help him get through this hell his mind pressured him into.

Phil rose to his feet, still holding Dan's hand, and he too stood up from his position on the carpet. They exchanged a small smile between them as they headed off to Dan's room, and Dan looked out through a window to see that the sun had set.

His mind wondered about the universe, and how purposeless his life was in comparison to it, when he saw London shrouded in darkness. But instead of fuelling those thoughts, he turned to face Phil; whose face was as bright and hopeful as the sun. He brought an everlasting joy to Dan's life, and he could never thank him enough for everything that he'd done.

Maybe all humans weren't part of a virus after all.


End file.
